Do you like this new peom?

It's called Spring Flowers



Spring Flowers



They can be yellow, pink, new, or old

Full of bright colors, vibrant, or bold.



Patient all winter, till spring comes round

Not until spring will flowers be found.

Do you like this new peom?
Beautiful......I love it and flowers too.

Keep up the marvelous writing!
Reply:I use to write all the time. Have a hard time finding time to do it these days. Always love reading good stuff though. Keep up the great work. Report It
Reply:Again, I see only a beginning here. Not a finished piece. Simplifying the work helps to give it a maturity that your original lacks. "They can be," and "full of" are not required. Let the reader have fun with the riddle. Let the emphasis be upon the colors "vibrant and bold."



Example:



Yellow, pink, new and old

Bright colors, vibrant or bold



Patient in winter, 'til spring comes round

Until then not flowers will be found



Your last two lines: You have used the word, "spring" twice. This is redundant. I suggest you use the word "then" as in, "Until then not..." This would be sufficient.



Taking your lead with the proper use of the word "round" as oppose to "around..." I have offered a twist on the last line which emphasizes the limerick quality to the piece, which you had already begun. You might find that it now lends the reader an involuntary Irish accent, which begs a second read, only this time aloud! ---What poet would not want her work to be appreciated this way?



I don't much care for your repeated use of "till" and "until." Again, it is redundant, but changing one of the "springs" helps the multiple "til's" to become more palatable.
Reply:It's pretty good. try to enter some poetry contest and see how that works for you.